I’m not one for making big changes in the new year. A new year for me usually just feels like just another day. But somehow, here in 2020, things feel a little different to all of the other years. In 2019 I went through what I would consider one of my hardest years for my personal growth and mental health, and finally I have come out on the other side and can reflect on how it all went.
LOOKING BACK AT 2019
My anxiety and depression reached new levels in 2019 and I genuinely thought I was going to end up killing myself before the year was up. But as it turns out I’m stronger than I thought and I got back up again. Even today I’m slowly dealing with my mental health problems, but now I’ve learned how to deal with it in the right way. After learning what CBT techniques work for me my mind has been a lot calmer.
I’ve realised that I need to take breaks and be kind to myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. There have been times where I’ve pushed myself into a situation or task when I really wasn’t up for it and I’ve ended up so much worse afterwards. I now know that I need to listen to myself. I can tell the difference between when I’m feeling exhausted or when I’m procrastinating. If I’m exhausted, I need a break. If I’m procrastinating I just need to push myself!
I am both proud and perplexed at how I’ve managed to be strong for so long, and I feel now that I’m in a position to help others with their mental health too.
MY GOALS FOR 2020
Learning from my mistakes and troubles last year has got me super excited for 2020. I feel like the universe has been preparing for me to have an amazing decade now that I’ve started to find myself.
01. Focus on making myself happy before others. Or, in other words, put myself first. Instead of saying ‘yes’ to absolutely everything I need to think about things first and figure out if it is truly something I want to do or will benefit from. I want to continue having ‘self-care time’, where, just for 10 minutes per week, I look over my feelings, mood and activities and ask myself how I am and what I can do to improve.
02. Once I do point one more, I can focus more on this: support those around me as much as I can. I think this is something I already do, but I definitely want to continue helping others, especially with mental health stuff.
03. Get better at yoga (and become fitter). I really enjoyed yoga last year when I got into the swing of it. I would look forward to every session and I could see improvements each week. We all know the amazing benefits of yoga so I don’t really need to explain. But it’s something I’m passionate about and it keeps me active!
04. Read 40 books. Last year I tried to read 45 and I made it to 38. This is still amazing and I’m so proud of myself so its something I want to continue in 2020 as well. Last year I was stressing out a bit when I got off track so I’ve decided to lower my goal to 40 – I want this to be fun and not stressful!
05. Write more. As you know, I love to write. Whether it’s lists, thought paragraphs, poems or blogs I want to do this more in 2020. One day I want to write a book too so I’m collecting ideas and putting plans into place all the time. I would really love to improve my writing skills and just express myself through words more than I already do – which probably means more blog posts too!
06. Take more photographs. I’m lucky to have a number of cameras which I use all the time, but I think I’ve found a love for film photography. Sadly I am learning of how expensive it can be to develop my photos which isn’t good! But I find so much pleasure in taking photos and seeing the end result. It really inspires me for my book – I want it to be all about the setting and some of my pictures really capture the essence and feel of it. I plan to take this love further, maybe purchase another camera or two and take them around with me more often.
07. Overall, do my best with everything! As long as I do my best and try my hardest, nothing else matters.
I hope you all have a wonderful 2020 and beyond. I would love to hear about your goals x